I Should Have Bought A Dog.

As my close friends may know, my life has been hell the last three weeks.. and just when I thought things were getting better, it get's worse.

So, in mid April I moved into an apartment with two of my close friends (stories found in entries below.) I believe it was the fourth night I came home to find someone jumping out my bathroom window? By the way, getting robbed sucks. This is when it hit me. Fuck, I have some really poor judgement on people.

Let's rewind to the night before someone broke into my home.. One of my room mates come home with two of his friends.. from the sound of it the one male sounded slightly slow. Which is no problem.. until I realized he was high as a kite on pills. Hence gave him the appearence as someone who is mentally challenged. Whatever, I stay away from the shit so I was just going to head to bed. Then this punk tried doing pills on my kitchen countertop. Oh hell no, I told him to get the hell out of my house. (Being high is one thing.. but having pills on you...IN MY HOME!!? Hell no.) I don't remember too much after that because I was so tired and just went to sleep.

So apparently, my room mate stole a PILL from him, hence why he broke in our home the next day. I hate drugs. I hate people who do drugs. You're trash.

So, I move out.. Now, I moved out on the 14th of May knowing another months rent was due the next day. My landlord was KIND enough to let us break the lease due to what had happened.

So I hadn't talked to my room mates since.

So, I was at work on Monday, when one of my old room mates sent me a message telling me I owe the land lord two hundred dollars? Excuse me, for what? I called the land lord right way. So these fucking morons...NEVER MOVED OUT. All of their belongings were STILL in the apartment. Therefore correction, THEY OWE two hundred? Why should I? I don't live there anymore.

My landlord explains to me that he had been trying to get them to get their shit out of there for the past three weeks, seeing as they weren't paying any money to him, or paying the untilities. (There was no electric since the day I moved out.) Well, he had been getting pretty fed up, which he had every right to bed, he explained to me that he was going to take legal action and sue all three of us for the whole years rent because they refused to move their items out of the apartment.

Okay, okay, easy fix right? I told my room mate she needed to get her shit out of the apartment... she says "I'll do it when I feel like it." Uhm, okay... well I said I would be more than happy to grab her things for her and take them to wherever she wanted them to go. She says "You touch my things and I'm calling the cops on you for theft." WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? Okay, I'm not longer apart of this apartment. I have nothing to do with it. But I some how end up to be smack dab in the middle of it? I can either A) Get sued for 8 grand OR B) Get arrested for theft? I'm not trying to start problems at all here...I just don't have 8 grand to spare. Ugh. I'll let you guys give you an update in a few days.

I hate room mates. I should have bought a dog.

30 Going On 13.

I live in a small town. Everyone knows everyone elses business. Half the time they know more about you than YOU do. In this small town the people here feed upon drama. They love to hear gossip, and they LOVE to hear when someone is doing bad.. The worst part is...these are not people in there late teens, early twenties, these people are nearly thirty years old. Now remember, I myself am only twenty (twenty one in two weeks.) therefore they all have some years on me. But the sad part is, I've come to realize that my maturity level is much higher than theirs. You have person a.) A girl I was good friends with until I found out she was talking about me behind my back, what a good friend she was. Though our friendship didn't last, she continued a friendship with my older sister. Until one day she decided to get shitfaced and tell the whole town a bunch of lies about my sister...for no good reason. Oh well...fuck her. person b.) Mr. Alcoholic/Useless used to be good friends with person a.) which is who she ran her mouth off to, knowing he's a big mouth, knowing eventually it would come back to me. So person b.) tells person c.) Oh dear, this is a good one. This person is a complete psycho, who does not understand the meaning of a one night stand. Person c.) hooks up with person d.) who has no interest in her, but was drunk...she goes completely psycho when she finds out I was dating person d.) ...she is still crazy and still stalking him... but anyway person c.) makes up a bunch of bull shit lies about me to get person d.) to hate me..which would never happen because I'm putting out and he's my best friend... so now everyone hates person d.) which is my fault? Hmm... This is really odd because I have not spoken to any of these because besides d.) in months...but someone I come out of nowhere and start problems without saying a word? I hate this town.

So, did I confuse the fuck out of you?

Gay Awareness?

With the whole CA. "Proposition 8" going on, you can't help but turn your head and see it everywhere on the news.

I believe I watched a good four television shows today on Gays.

Okay, I know I'll probably lose some readers because I'm going to state my opinon. Gay marriage is flat out wrong, and I'm sick of hearing about it. I was rasied in a very conservative christian home... and though I am my OWN person. My opinion stays the same. I myself am a republican, just as my family... I've tried and tried to accept gay marriage, but I just can't seem to find the power to do so. Therefore my gut feeling is telling me it's wrong.

As a human, your purpose in life is to create. Which obviously you can't do when your partner is of the same sex. I understand you may love that person, and I'm not telling you you can't. You just don't need to be married. Marriage is sacred. Please don't take that away from us. You can call your relationship whatever you want. But do not dare call it a marriage. That is for a man and a woman, which is how God planned. A woman needs a man. A man needs a woman. And children need a mother and father.

Ghost.

James L. Mock "Ghost Black"

April 8th 1988 - May 19th 2007

My friend, you are truely missed.

From The Dead.

Don't worry kids, I'm still alive. I know I haven't posted since easter but life has been pretty crazy.

Let me sum it up. Move into my own place, by the fourth night someone broke into my home. I said fuck that and moved back with my parents. I got another job as a waitress at the county club. Love it. I still work at the office so I'm pretty busy. Just found out my sister is finally moving back home...to the city. I'm excited as all hell. I've been busy helping with getting the house in shape for my parents anniversary party at the end of the month. I became single, then "complicated", to taken, to single...now just confused. I've still yet to go for my damn CNA testing..hopefully soon. My best friend is pregnant, and getting married. I'm excited for that as well!! All in all I'm going crazy. But I'll keep yall posted.

One month, Six days until 21st Birthday.

Happy Easter.

I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday!
I did the whole go to church thing, and then dinner at Grandma's house. It was lovely. Though every holiday is pretty hard without my older sister around. She's been living in another state for about eight months now, but good news is, there is a GOOD chance she is moving back to Pennsylvania this summer. Hurrah!

Sorry guys, I've been hella busy, not much time to blog. As foir a little update I currently moving into my new apartment (house) with a few of my close friends. I can't wait! Also I just found out some good news...I can have my old job back. Which will bring in extra cash for shit around the house. Wee!

But, I guess I should get back to packing. I'll post in entry when I'm all settled in.



I hate the fact that I feel guilty for leaving him. I hate the WAY he makes me feel guilty for leaving him. Sometimes it's worse to be the dumpee than the one dumped. But if could only understand that I'm still searching for myself, and I don't want to be held back from things I want to do.

What The F*^%?

It's the month of April. It's fucking snowing. Mother fucker I'm so sick of being COLD. I just want some sunshine. I had to fake bake today, just to get some UV rays. Gah.
Well like is pretty crazy right now. I had my last day working at the hospital, (thank god) now I'm just debating on whether I should apply for a nurse aide job, or take my old job back in respite care. I think to think this one out.

On a personal note, I'm taking steps into my future. Along the way I'm hitting some bumps that hit pretty hard. But I keep picking my head up and continue walking. I know there are those of you who I'm going to let down, but in the end...for the first time, I have to do something for myself. To better MYSELF. That's the thing with growing up. You realize everything isn't always going to be fine and dandy, you have to do things that will hurt but will end up more positive for you down the road. I feel just a little stronger. I think I'm another step closer to being the woman I want to be.